Student returns from library expedition with minotaur head

Golden sword and decapitated minotaur head in hand, a St. Olaf student returned from a three-day expedition into the bowels of the Rolvaag Memorial Library.

The mysterious student, known only to his friends as Thaseus, reportedly ventured down into the first and second floors of the library late Friday night. According to sources close to the student, Thaseus carried out the secretive expedition to “hunt down that foul beast,” a creature which he had been obsessing over for many days.

“He thought there was a minotaur lurking in the depths of the library,” a friend of Thaseus said. “He wouldn’t talk about anything besides killing it.”

While the thought of a man-eating beast inhabiting the library may seem absurd, faculty and students alike have described the first and second floors of the library as “labyrinthian” in their overabundance of bookshelves and study rooms.

“It’s a confusing and nebulous place, those lower floors,” Alexander Manolis ’20 said. “I’ve gotten lost several times while looking for books down there. Surely some creature could exist there without ever being found.”

Those close to Thaseus reported that he carried a “calm and cool” demeanor before his Friday crusade, unusual for someone about to venture into a potentially dangerous situation. On the day before his journey, Thaseus ate breakfast alone in the caf.

Among his close acquaintances and other students who heard of his prospective quest, there was a feeling of worry and confusion. Many students were speculative towards the belief that a minotaur roamed the lower floors of the library.

Reports of grunting and snorting, as well as a “sour smell of stale sweat and the sickly sweet stench of rotten flesh,” coming from deep within the first floor had been surfacing in the weeks leading up to Thaseus’s journey, however, dispelling possible fears of folly towards the heroic young man.

Upon returning from his expedition, Thaseus was greeted by Arianne Anderson ’21, daughter of President David Anderson. Arianne kissed the young hero, and the two exited the library together, running hand-in-hand down the hill towards St. Olaf Ave. Thaseus and Arianne have yet to return to campus.

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