Horoscopes

Capricorn

I know you’ve had that album on repeat this week. Listen to something else so you don’t burn it out too quick.

 

Aquarius

Try something fun! Go for a swim in the pool or set off some fireworks. But go to Wisconsin because apparently it’s “illegal” here or something..

 

Pisces

Think back about a fight or disagreement you had recently. Now sit in the shower for another 40 minutes coming up with a better argument you’ll never get to use.

 

Aries

Been missing your ex lately? Tough. You should catch up on your work.

 

Taurus

You’re super hot. Just a flawless gem that everyone thinks is smart and funny. Show your confidence this week..

 

Gemini

Stop anonymously posting on Flirts and ask your crush out already.

 

Cancer

Have you been feeling overwhelmed? Treat yourself to a bath in the Hillboe tub. On second thought, maybe get that fancy latte instead. 

 

Leo

Skip a class this week and do some work you’ve been putting off. Don’t worry, you can tell the professor a campus squirrel turned off your alarm!

 

Virgo

Things are going well for you lately. A little too well perhaps. Don’t take it for granted.

 

Libra

Your crush is definitely into you but you have to stop parking your car in the faculty lots because Pub Safe is itching to give you a ticket.

 

Scorpio

You’ve had a birthday recently, or maybe it’s coming up. That’s exciting. Also someone new may come into your life soon. Be suspicious.

 

Sagittarius

Check up on a friend you haven’t talked to recently. Also put less pressure on yourself. You’re doing the best you can. 

 

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