“Hocus Pocus”: I know everyone loves it but I don’t understand the hype. Some witches fly around… so what?
Gourds: Why do we need these wrinkly penis pumpkins?
Halloween parties. When did getting shoved into a suffocating room with a herd of poorly-dressed, badly prepared people become fun?
King sized candy bars. I know I will get hate for this one but I much rather eat a few small candy bars instead of a king sized one. I’m a fan of variety and you don’t get that with king sized candy.
Pumpkin spice. It’s nasty. Why is this a thing? I’m honestly concerned for people that enjoy it!
Scantily-clad costumes: You’re cold. You’re uncomfortable. It’s impractical. I’m all for costumes that involve wearing sweatpants!
People handing out pop/chips instead of candy. I can get this at my house whenever I want. You’re just lazy. Get with the program and give me some candy (preferrably bite size).
Group costumes. Someone always ruins it. They have been done a million times. Please fill my instagram feed with something more interesting.
Snickers. Why is this a candy?
Carving pumpkins. Maybe it’s just me but my pumpkins always got smashed and this crushed my little ten-year-old heart. Too much trauma from coming home to smooshed pumpkins.
Sophia Kulus is from Lakeville, Minn.
Her major is undeclared.
