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Satire: Am&Eggs: Midwestern students complain that Caf hotdish is “too spicy”

tater tots

Bon Appétit faces a new controversy as students have begun to speak up against the company’s lack of concern for its customers. Last month, Stav Hall served its classic tater tot hotdish, traditionally a favorite among the student body. However, the chefs decided to put a new spin on the recipe by adding a quarter-teaspoon of black pepper to the batch, a decision which may prove to be costly.

Claire Bumpkinson ’22 was the first to come forward with her story.

“Back home, hotdish is a special treat,” Bumpkinson said. “My grandmother always brings it to family gatherings, and I never thought anyone could do her recipe justice, so I was shocked when Bon App got so close. I just don’t understand why they had to ruin it like this.”

But the criticism extends beyond emotional wounds. John Wensleydale ’23 suffered second-degree burns to his tongue and has faced exorbitant medical bills due to the Caf’s error.

“I still can’t eat solid food,” Wensleydale wrote in an email to the Manitou Messenger. “It’s great because I can have as many Pause shakes as I want, but I can’t taste them. You win some, you lose some, I guess.”

Not everyone takes issue with the change. Bertrand McToast ’20, originally from Arizona, welcomes an entree that reminds him of his home climate.

“Minnesotans are weak. That casserole is great” McToast said, drinking a habanero smoothie. Eyewitnesses report that he shed a single manly tear.

The scandal comes hot on the heels of another incident in which the broccoli and cheese soup was laced with Tabasco sauce. Fortunately, the slip-up occurred during fall break, so there were few casualties.

Bon App has yet to issue an official statement on either controversy, but Board Supervisor Jesse Bauernfeind gave a personal comment.

“If we have to, we’ll hold off on the spicy stuff until mid-November,” he said. “There should be enough snow on the ground by then for people to stick their tongues in.”