Costume decisions will not haunt this Halloween

Guess what, kids? It’s Halloween this weekend! With excitement building up all week and pumpkins beginning to dot the campus, what better way to prepare for a Pagan holiday than with some exciting costume ideas? Yeah, maybe you’re too old for dressing up, but it’s a great way to act like a child again instead of binge-watching Pokémon on Netflix. As a leading expert on Halloween costumes, I hope some of my suggestions help make this weekend the best time of your life.

Everybody loves Mario Kart, and Halloween isn’t complete without a group of people roaming around campus as their favorite Nintendo characters. Simply gather your friend group together, buy some boxes, use your artistic skills to paint said boxes, wear the boxes and have at it. It doesn’t matter how good the costume looks, because you simply get to bring the magic of Mario Kart to St. Olaf.

You can always go as a ghost, mummy or witch – but come on people, let’s not overlook one of the most unique costume ideas out there; famous figures in English folklore. Who cares about the rapper Lil’ John? Instead, go as Robin Hood’s right hand man, Little John, or King Arthur or a fire-breathing dragon. Whichever you choose, these costumes are sure to catch the eyes of fellow classmates and will immediately elevate you to legendary status among Halloween enthusiasts. English folklore is the newest fad and it is here to stay, so hop on the bandwagon while you can.

I’ve been talking a lot about what to be, but now it is time to warn you about costumes you should avoid. To be honest, anything scary is immediately off the table. Scary costumes are not only cliché, but they also scare the hell out of me and others around you. If at any point I feel scared on campus by a spooky skeleton or gorilla costume gorillas terrify me, count on me calling Public Safety; you have been warned. Seriously, people tend to dislike nightmares, and gorilla costumes are one of the primary reasons one loses sleep, along with binge-watching even more Pokémon.

Which brings me to my next point. Don’t ever, ever try to be a Pokémon for Halloween. Not only will you screw up the costume, especially if it is a do-it-yourself, you will also not do Pokémon justice. It’s as if Pokémon is something of a sacred nature – you just do not mess with it. Sorry to those who were considering this costume idea, but I urge you to stop right now and reevaluate your options just go as a robot or something; that would be pretty cool.

If you are going to dress up, it’s much more exciting to go as a group. Group themes are memorable and tend to draw more attention, which, whether we admit it or not, is the main point of Halloween for college students. Go as a pack of kangaroos, the Cobra Kai Dojo or an assortment of sea creatures. Better yet, go as a group of central figures from English folklore, which will not only look hip and cool, but will impress fellow folklore enthusiasts around campus.

Unfortunately for all who read this, I can’t release to the public what group costume my gang and I will be going as this year, but prepare yourselves for pure wonder.

Now that everybody knows what to wear for Halloween, I’m expecting nothing less than the best this weekend. As the leading Halloween costume expert on campus, all I can ask is that you impress me.