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St. Olaf Sentiments

I’m nearly halfway through my final semester at St. Olaf, and I really did think I’d be more sentimental than I am. If someone had told me when I was a sophomore that I’d be dying to get off the Hill in two years, I don’t think I would’ve believed them. Two years ago I thought four years of college was far too short a time to do everything I wanted and needed to accomplish at St. Olaf. But now I know that this period of time was really by design. You reach your peak college years sometime around sophomore or junior year, and then have just enough time to grow to resent the whole institution and everyone you know so that the idea of leaving becomes really easy. The Senior Slide™ is in full effect.

Since securing my post-grad job the future has become the only thing that matters. My classes are a means to an end. My obligations more of an annoyance than anything else. And since everyone I know is also thinking about the future, it’s become hard to escape this mindset. I don’t know anyone who is sad to be graduating this spring. It’d be kind of nice to be around someone who’s sentimental, to make me sentimental, but I don’t think I’m going to find them. The only thing anyone can talk about is what jobs they’ve applied to or their upcoming interviews. Which is fine, but certainly doesn’t help me feel sentimental.

Because I’m so anxious to leave I can only seem to spend my free time looking for apartments, in my desired neighborhoods – which I’ve thoroughly researched – and looking for roommates (if you’re moving to Philadelphia after graduation, send me an email!) and furniture for my theoretical apartment, even though it’s way too early to do any of these things. Shockingly, no one’s listing apartments for rent starting Aug. 1 in March. I know how long my commute is going to be, and which train line I’ll take. Trust me, I’m incredibly well-prepared for when my theoretical apartment becomes a real apartment. I’ve already picked out a toaster, sheets, a mattress and drinking glasses. I even made the really difficult decision to forgo terry cloth towels and try out Turkish towels instead. Maybe I’ll start shopping for couches next.

But I don’t necessarily want to feel this way. I really do wish I was more sentimental, because it’s not like the past four years have been horrible or awful. They really have been some of the most transformative years of my life so far, and I know I’ll look back on my college years fondly. I should be spending my last few months spending my free time with my closest friends, not apartment hunting or shopping for furniture. I don’t want to be constantly living my life looking to the future, and not enjoying the present. Actually doing this might be easier said than done though.

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