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A&Eats: cage ice cream


It is ironic, I remember thinking as we walked to the Cage, that of all the days we could have chosen to eat ice-cream for dinner, we chose Valentine’s day.  And yet there we were, my friends and I, amongst the lovers munching on greasy burgers and fries, sharing coffee, all with bouquets of flowers nearby in backpacks and strewn over the tables.  It will be a miracle if we get through this dinner without getting sick, I thought.  And yet there we were, the three of us; me, Nathan and Noah, on Valentine’s Day, ordering six flavors of ice-cream for dinner, so I could write this review.

Though, it would be a lie to say that I’m not grateful, and that we weren’t excited.  There’s something magical about reveling in the ironic, and as our ice cream dinner was scooped, revel we did.  For a good five minutes we joked about eating our feelings and other matters of the heart that would have been funnier if they weren’t true.  And as the last laugh died, the last cup was placed in front of us and we took our seats, ready to dive in. 

The thing about ice cream is that one rarely goes out in search of something specifically delicious, especially at a time in life where – being college students with little money – we take no shame in searching for the cheapest options available.  To undergraduates then, good ice cream need not taste excellent; we need only stomach it long enough to forget our worries for a short while, until they – with all the sugar – come rushing back over the toilet seat in the closest bathroom after an hour or three.  It will be a while before I eat ice cream again.

Not because of the taste though – you may have noticed that in this review, I have yet to mention nearly anything on the taste of the Cage’s ice-cream itself.  That is not for lack of trying it, for believe me – we tried it – only that there isn’t much to say.  I will sum up my thoughts on all the flavors in the words of my friend Nathan, “it’s a’ight.”

All of the flavors of ice cream in the Cage are alright.  The espresso chip is the best of the bunch, but it will be gone soon.  The cookies and cream is full of cookies and cream, almost too much so.  The chocolate could be a tad more bitter; the strawberry, a tad less frozen.  The vanilla needs toppings.  

And the sherbet cannot escape the fact that it is the last of the frozen treats listed by the cage’s employees anytime someone asks the flavors they serve.  They’re alright, but they don’t have to be anything more than alright. 

The three of us walked home on the eve of Valentine’s Day content with our decision to have an ice cream dinner.  Had we not been asked to judge the tastes of the flavors, we most likely would have enjoyed them as much as we enjoyed each other’s company, and not been so harsh on the Cage’s delicacies.  As we reached our door, Noah called our night a flavorful experience.  I screamed.

Our labor concluded we turned towards our home feeling quite full and quite less alone but if you doubt our ice-cream-for-dinner intel we think that you simply should try it yourself!

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