Last semester saw the exit of Bon Appetit’s board supervisor Randy Clay so that he could open his long-awaited business, Imminent Brewing. This has led to hundreds of upperclassmen both enjoying Clay’s delicious craft beers and also lamenting the supposed downfall of Stav Hall in his absence. It has also created a discourse that alienates all the first years who have no idea who the heck Randy Clay is.
If only we could have our cake and eat it too. But alas, one man can only run so many successful service establishments. So let us compare them side-by-side: Stav Hall vs. Imminent Brewery – who wore Randy Clay better?
Round One – Dress Code
Stav: Randy would often wear a blue button-down shirt and khaki pants. A fairly typical work uniform. Professional, but lacking a personal or creative flair.
Imminent: At his own establishment, Randy is regularly seen walking around in flannel shirts and old, roughed-up baseball caps. Untidy, but intentionally so. It gives off a folksy and ultimately more approachable vibe.
Winner: Imminent.
Round Two – Beverages
Stav: None of the beverage options contain alcohol. Ice machine runs out after the first hour of any given meal.
Imminent: Mostly beer and consistently served cold.
Winner: Imminent.
Round Three – Food
Stav: Several different food lines. Some change daily or even every meal. Paid for with card swipes. Three meals every day, seven days a week.
Imminent: Food trucks on the weekends. Only one line. Paid for with real, tangible money. Would have to get food elsewhere on weekdays.
Winner: Caf.
Round Four – Space
Stav: During peak hours, you can never find a goddamn place to sit.
Imminent: During peak hours, you can never find a goddamn place to sit.
Winner: Draw.
Round Five – Ambience
Stav: Eat to the tune of the collective chatter of hundreds of your peers.
Imminent: Occasional live music!
Winner: Imminent.
Round Six – Coolness
Stav: I mean, everyone eats there every day. However cool that is at first inevitably fades away.
Imminent: Has yet to stop being cool.
Winner: Imminent.
Round Seven – Alcohol
Stav: Once again, no alcohol. It’s not even allowed.
Imminent: Primarily based around alcohol.
Winner: Imminent.
Conclusion
While it is really easy to pine for the days of Randy’s caf reign, it’s important to remember that his talents are better used at Imminent and we never truly deserved his magnificence in the first place.
